"I'm pleased to see such a great turnout! I can see some fine looking teams in the crowd in front of me, and if you're all half as good as you look, you'll all be rolling in treasure by the end of the month! Now, I know you must all be antsy to hear your instructions and get your supplies and take off, but there's some ground rules."
"Ground rules that you're all gonna follow, or else. Here's my lovely assistant, Anana, to explain them."
"Wow, what a crowd! I'm happy to be here, and I bet you all are, too! Ready to find some treasure? I bet! But first we got some tiny teensy rules you should keep in mind! Don't worry, they're real easy to follow! Cordite and me worked real hard to come up with them!"
1. No killing or grievously injuring any individual(s).
Anana: "You don't want me or Cordite coming after you! We're not bound by these rules, okay?"
2. No leaving a team without a usable treasure map.
Anana: "Everyone's gotta have the hope of finding treasure. If you steal someone's treasure map, make sure they're given your old treasure map, all right?"
3. No damaging treasure or treasure maps.
Anana: "And don't even think of throwing them into the ocean or something! That would make me really sad! Lots of people worked really hard to make those!"
4. No detainment of any individual(s) longer than necessary to perform piratey actions.
Anana: "Like, trading a treasure map or something, I dunno. Get the deed over with, and let them go, 'kay?"
5. No structural damage to ships.
"They're Cordite's ships, and Cordite will be very cross if you're to damage them."
6. No obstructing Watercolor buffalo hides or removing them from ships.
Anana: "Don't try to be sneaky! The only things touching these should be ink and stuff from a creature you choose. We'll explain that later, okay?
7. Follow all EmergenSea Parrot instructions.
Anana: "They're helpful little fellows, and will never lead you astray! Even I can't get lost if I'm listening to one!"
8. No hindering of or tampering with EmergenSea Parrots.
Anana: "They belong to Cordite, and they're there for your own safety!"
9. Be polite and peaceful to all individuals not participating in the treasure hunt.
Anana: "No pirate antics for anyone who hasn't willingly signed up for them! Don't forget!"
10. Follow all orders from Cordite and Anana.
Anana: "Even if you disagree with us, you gotta follow them!"
"I know everyone will follow the rules, but just in case I'm wrong, we have some consequences for breaking them! We have four punishments, each one worse than the last! I would hate to see any of them happen to anyone!"
1. Petty: EmergenSea Parrot shall reveal your ship's location for 24 hours. Smoke signals will be employed during the day and fireworks during the night.
Anana: "You don't want anyone knowing where your ship is! What if they try to take your treasure map, or your treasure?"
2. Minor: In addition to the Petty penalty, teams shall be docked 1 point.
Anana: "You won't be able to get a trophy at the end if you don't have enough points! It's a really good trophy, too!"
3. Medium: In addition to the Petty and Minor penalties, all navigational equipment and maps on the offending crew's ship will become unusable for 72 hours.
Anana: "There's nothing worse than being lost and exposed at sea!"
4. Major: The offending crew's ship shall be destroyed by lightning. EmergenSea Parrot will call for a stern escort of the offending crew to the closest mainland. The offending crew will be disqualified and have their treasures confiscated and returned to their starting locations.
"That last one is for real bad apples! I hope we don't have any of those here! Also, in addition to the Medium penalty, leaving a team without a usable treasure map will result in your EmergenSea Parrot returning their stolen treasure map."
"That means you'll be punished and won't have anything to show for it!"
"Be smart and follow the rules! Cordite, you're up!"
"Good lord, that took long enough! All right then, let's get to the fun stuff."
"This is a treasure hunt, pure and simple. Your team will have four tasks ahead of it in the coming month."
Task 1: Find treasures located on your treasure map.
Cordite: "I shouldn't have to explain this one to you. The map shows you where some treasure is. You go there and find the treasure."
Task 2: Keep the treasure you find.
Cordite: "This thing's gonna last for a whole month, and during that month you'll have to be on guard for other teams who're gonna steal your treasures."
Task 3: Protect your Watercolor Buffalo hide from all pigments, paints and inks.
Cordite: "It's like paintball, except on a boat in the ocean. Don't let anyone shoot it with a Squinker, Gel Squinker, Mark Knocker or Spraypaint Skunk!"
Task 4: Conduct all of the previous tasks in a stylish and piratey yet civilized manner.
Cordite: "We'll award points for various actions, and teams with nine or more points are gonna get a trophy at the end of the treasure hunt."
"Here's what a team can get points for."
Trading a treasure map through force or deceit: +1 point
Cordite: "Don't like the treasures listed on your map? Don't like where they're located? Someone already find the treasure? Make someone trade their map for yours!"
Finding all treasures on your original treasure map: +2 points
Cordite: "Find them quick! There's a lot of people signed up for this thing, and only thirty treasures to go around!"
Finding treasure with someone else's treasure map: +2 points
Cordite: "Nothing like good old-fashioned pirate greed."
Having an unmarked Watercolor Buffalo hide: +3 points
Cordite: "This is gonna be a difficult one. You're gonna have to be quick and sneaky if you don't want people shooting up your buffalo hide."
Coordinated outfits: +1 point
Cordite: "Pirates should always look good."
Not requesting assistance from your EmergenSea Parrot: +1
Cordite: "Nothing wrong with needing a bit of help, though. You can still get a trophy if this is the only point you miss out on."
"Here's what you're gonna get before we let you set sail. Take care of all of it! Especially the parrot here."
1. EmergenSea Parrot, one
Cordite: "This little wooden guy will make sure you're never truly lost at sea! It will also warn individuals if they're about to engage in rule-breaking."
2. Watercolor buffalo hide, affixed to hull, one
Cordite: "Don't let anyone shoot it!"
3. Rations for one month-long sea voyage
Cordite: "Dry biscuits, flavorless jerky and vitamin tablets. The best. It's what I always ate before I retired."
4. Water for one month-long sea voyage
Cordite: "Full of life, so you know it's good for your life!"
5. Treasure map, one
Cordite: "Make sure you hang on to it!"
6. Compass, one
Cordite: "Points north."
7. Spyglass, one
Cordite: "Used for spying on people from great distances. You look into the small end, not the large end."
8. Squinker, Gel Squinker, Mark Knocker or Spraypaint Skunk, one of your choice
Cordite: "Pick one of these guys and use it to shoot other teams' watercolor buffalo hides!"
"Now, we'll try our best to keep everyone safe, but the sea's a cruel mistress. Be careful of these things when you're out there."
- Diamond head dolphins -
"These dolphins love the feeling of smashing and breaking things with their heads. This includes rocks, coral, and boats and ships of all sizes. Your boat is made of wood, and the skull of a diamond head dolphin is, well, stronger than wood. Steer clear of these guys. They dislike music and high pitched noises."
- Killer, the Shell slicer whale -
"Killer here, she can't stand violence or aggression. Of any kind. No matter how warranted they be. Lots o' ships have been lost at sea due to crew members merely arguing within earshot of her. Be on your best behavior if you think she's around."
"Here's what you've been waiting for! Remember, if your treasure map doesn't list the locations of the treasures you want, feel free to swap it for someone else's."
1. Ugly Wooden Doll - Two tickets for a month-long Twin Luxuries vacation trip are inside.
12. Waterland Magnet - When placed on a compass and and held over water, the compass points to the closest body of land. When placed on a compass and held over land, the compass points to the closest body of water.
20. Toothy Gum - Tastes like salt water and never loses flavor. Coats the owner's teeth in a golden enamel, providing a brilliant, dazzling smile. Effect lasts until gum is spat out. Gum will reconstitute good as new in one week. Do not swallow.
30. Looking Glass - Spots parties where no one will notice an uninvited or unfamiliar guest.
"But that's not all! In addition to the main treasures we hid around here, there's a couple naturally-occurring ones!"
- Big Bear Treasure Hoard -
"The legendary Sea Bear, "Big Bear", has an absolutely massive hoard of treasure hidden somewhere underneath the ocean. Find it, and you'll have highly valuable sea bear treasure at your fingertips. Take only one item from Big Bear's hoard, or else."
"You already said 'or else' earlier, silly!"
- Dead Man's Pouch -
"This sack jelly's centuries-old and is larger than most ships. It's been collecting treasure for hundreds of years! This means that you, as a pirate, will be very interested in finding Dead Man's Pouch and retrieving some of the treasure floating around in it. Also, as a living thing, you'll be interested to know that Dead Man's Pouch is far more toxic than ordinary sack jellies. Just a couple seconds of contact with it can be fatal."
"Now, these aren't treasures you can take, but any pirate would feel blessed to take a look at them!"
- Stained-Glass Star -
"Anyone bathing in the light from this sea crystal's gonna feel inspired enough to finish whatever project they've been working on, no matter its difficulty."
"That's it! Get out of here, get your supplies, set sail and start treasure hunting! See you back here safe and sound in one month!"